“I’ve washed this towel twice and still can’t remove the puke stain.”
His wife Mary stands at the top of the stairs, gently shaking the unfurled towel at her husband, who sits with his back to her, hunched over his “work-from-home desk,” even though he’s been out of work for 10 months.
The vet called it megaesophagus, a condition in which the esophagus is unable to move food into the stomach efficiently, causing their aging dog to vomit frequently. His wife displayed the artistic consequence of their dog’s medical condition for her husband to see.
Planting his bare feet on the protective matt under his office chair, he spins towards his wife, her pretty, puzzled face resting atop the puke-stained towel.
He studies the stain. “Let’s change Pepsi’s name to Pollock and sell her work online.” Then, in the next breath, he squints and quips, “Hold on a second… what the hell . . . I think I see Jesus’s face in that puke stain!”
“Ha-ha, very funny”, still, she turns the towel 180 degrees, tilts her head slightly, and studies the stain.
“Our lord savior, perpetually pictured in Pepsi’s puke! — or Pollock’s puke if we decide to move ahead with the name change,” her alliterative husband continues with a self-satisfying grin.
“This could be the financial windfall we’ve been waiting for!”
“It’s a laundry version of the miracle at Lourdes… the Tide Pod that Spied God!” He slips effortlessly into one of his riffs, wagging his finger enthusiastically above his head.
“I’ll call the Vatican and local paper; you work on logistics for backyard tours.”
She chuckles, turns on her heel, and heads down the stairs.
He’s unfazed by her absence.
Once he starts ranting, it’s got to run its course, “like diarrhea,” she would often say.
“We’ll need to erect a clothesline for the bath towel shroud of Jesus!”
“Maybe by the vegetable garden in the back, in front of the doubting toms and holy basil,” he shouts while spinning back to his work desk.
Halfway down the staircase, she responds sarcastically over her shoulder, “I’ll get on that right way,” tossing the rolled-up towel into the clothes hamper at the bottom of the stairs.
bendingtheneedle 