Sing to the tune of “A Day in the Life” by the Beatles
I talked to Cruz today oh boy
about the tariffs and fake climate change
he kissed my ass, we had a ball
Then I made him feel so small
I compared him to Rand Paul
He keeps his balls locked in a box
he never wears them when he visits me
a Fox reporter stood and stared
they’ve seen this all before
Another mute Republican
from a feckless fucking house of gourds
I saw a clip today oh boy
from Sixty Minutes on the Ukraine war
I got so pissed, I shit my pants
I called the F C C
screaming “speech ain’t free”
I want to turn them off
Woke up, rolled out of bed
raked the hair across my head
found my way downstairs and drank a coke
and looking up I noticed I was late
grabbed my coat and MAGA hat
made the links in seconds’ flat
hit the fairway with a perfect stroke
somebody spoke so I made them disappear
I read fake news today oh boy
on NPR and from the New York Times
about protestors on the mall
I want to shoot them all
no one knows just how many on the mall will fall
I love to hate you all
bendingtheneedle 