Men cannot get through reading any non-humorous greeting card that contains over 5 sentences.
We are completely incapable of toughing it out in that situation. If someone is watching us, we pretend to be reading it – but rest assured we are not. If no one is there when we receive such a card, we still pretend to read it – not sure who we are pretending for. When we are done pretending to read the card, we place it on the sofa table in the standard stand up fashion – when a card is in that position, it is assumed to have been read.
Sorry, but this is all true. If you want men to read a greeting card – make it a funny one – or make it a short one.