Boo Birds, Orange Turkey

What a shame and disservice to the men and women being sworn into the military at yesterday’s football game in Washington, DC.

In what should have been a proud and patriotic moment for these young men and women, the fans could not hold back their boos and distaste for the draft-dodging coward and enemy of American democracy swearing them in.

I want to think if I were in attendance I would have applauded in celebration of the men and women on the field rather than boo the putz in the press box who has embarrassed our country in front of the rest of the world – but honestly, I don’t know if I would have been able to hold back my anger at the man responsible for the rampant divisiveness ripping at the fabric of our country.

The adverse reaction that a stadium full of American citizens had to President Trump’s public appearance would be a wake-up call to any other politician. But Trump is so thickly coated in narcissism that nothing outside of the inflated opinion he has of himself matters, as the big, fat, ugly shadow he casts continues to eclipse the hope and optimism that used to shine brightly from America.  

He Saw Vlad Standing There

Sing to the tune of “I Saw Her Standing There” by the Beatles

Well, he is just cruel and mean

in his fake orange sheen

his dictatorship has put us in despair

He demonizes the other, oohh

in his fake-ass golden hair


Deporter in Chief

Felonious thief

a piggish fool, with greed beyond compare

He loves Vlady P like no other, oooh

From his cozy White House lair


Collective hearts go boom with a sense of doom

Autocracy is brewiiing!

People snatched from the street

Every word dipped in deceit

And the courts are trying hard to rein him in

Don will not dance with another

Oh, since he saw Vlad standing there


Collective hearts go boom with a sense of doom

401Ks are crashiiing!

Free speech gets denied

and the US courts defied

while oligarchs get rich beyond compare

Don will not dance with another,

Oh, since he saw Vlad standing there

A Presidential Day in the Life

Sing to the tune of “A Day in the Life” by the Beatles

I talked to Cruz today oh boy

about the tariffs and fake climate change

he kissed my ass, we had a ball

Then I made him feel so small

I compared him to Rand Paul


He keeps his balls locked in a box

he never wears them when he visits me

a Fox reporter stood and stared

they’ve seen this all before

Another mute Republican

from a feckless fucking house of gourds


I saw a clip today oh boy

from Sixty Minutes on the Ukraine war

I got so pissed, I shit my pants

I called the F C C

screaming “speech ain’t free”

I want to turn them off


Woke up, rolled out of bed

raked the hair across my head

found my way downstairs and drank a coke

and looking up I noticed I was late

grabbed my coat and MAGA hat

made the links in seconds’ flat

hit the fairway with a perfect stroke

somebody spoke so I made them disappear


I read fake news today oh boy

on NPR and from the New York Times

about protestors on the mall

I want to shoot them all

no one knows just how many on the mall will fall

I love to hate you all

Sympathy for the President

Sing to the tune of “Sympathy for the Devil” by the Rolling Stones

Please allow me to introduce myself
I’m a man of greed and girth
Been around since 1946
Learned from father that wealth is worth

Remember the Republicans
had their moment before I came
cowered, caved, and complied
and forever changed the game

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
Spreading hatred all ‘round
Is the nature of my game

Stuck around New York City
When I saw it was a time for a change
Called Vlad and his ministers
Melania screamed in vain

I rode that dark
birtherism train
to kill hope and change
on the open range

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Spreading hatred all ‘round
Is the nature of my game, ah yeah

I watched with glee
as the MAGA crowd
beat and tazed their way
to our darkest day

I shouted out
“Who killed democracy?”
when after all
it was you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I’m the god to whom you pray
I laid the trap for Ukrainians
and dashed their hope on election day

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
And spreading hate all ‘round
Is the nature of my game

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s confounding you
Is just the nature of my game, mm yeah

Just as every pol is a criminal
and all the sinners’ saints
my lies are truth, just call me President
one that’s dipped in orange paint

So, if you meet me, show some courtesy
have some sympathy, and some fear
use all your well-learned politeness
or I’ll make you disappear, mm yeah

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
But what’s confounding’ you
Is the nature of my game

Dinner in Blue State America

Bright light behind the slightly ajar door. Abstract background

The glow from the television gathers in the doorway at the end of the hall.

“I can’t believe what he just said.”

“Honey! Come listen to what the asshole just said.”

“Jesus Fucking Christ.”

“Can someone please just get rid of this motherfucker already?”

His words crash through the door into the hallway, bouncing off the walls like a whisky-soaked drunk double-dipped in anger.

“What the fuck is wrong with this country? We fought a goddamn world war to prevent this crap from spreading. Now we’ve got this mother fucker proselytizing fascist propaganda from the goddamn motherfucking White House.”

“Honey!!!”

She grabs a beer from the fridge and takes a long, hard swig before retrieving a half-smoked pack of Winstons from the junk drawer. She started smoking again after the election.

“Yeah, I heard,” she yells towards the hall.

“But what can we do?” she whispers surrenderingly and takes a drag.