For the Benefit of Vladimir

Sing to the tune of Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite by the Beatles

For the benefit of Vladimir
A sourpuss that’s insincere, a criminal
JD and Trump will kiss his ass to lend support for his morass
is seminal.
Soldier men and forces, bombs and bosses,
Jumping through a hog’s head of real fire.
with a sneer Vladimir will challenge the world!

Inebriated Vladimir
lays down a beat on Saturday, at Ukraine’s gate.
A Russian Bear will dance and sing
As Rubio bows to a King, a coward’s fate
Mess’rs P. and T. assure the public
their protection will be lesser than none.
and of course, NATO the Horse, dances alone

The bombs begin at ten to six
When Vladimir performs his tricks without a sound
And Mister T. will demonstrate
There’re things he can’t resuscitate from underground
Having stuck the knife with devastation
A bloody time is guaranteed for all
And tonight, Vladimer is having a ball

A Presidential Day in the Life

Sing to the tune of “A Day in the Life” by the Beatles

I talked to Cruz today oh boy

about the tariffs and fake climate change

he kissed my ass, we had a ball

Then I made him feel so small

I compared him to Rand Paul


He keeps his balls locked in a box

he never wears them when he visits me

a Fox reporter stood and stared

they’ve seen this all before

Another mute Republican

from a feckless fucking house of gourds


I saw a clip today oh boy

from Sixty Minutes on the Ukraine war

I got so pissed, I shit my pants

I called the F C C

screaming “speech ain’t free”

I want to turn them off


Woke up, rolled out of bed

raked the hair across my head

found my way downstairs and drank a coke

and looking up I noticed I was late

grabbed my coat and MAGA hat

made the links in seconds’ flat

hit the fairway with a perfect stroke

somebody spoke so I made them disappear


I read fake news today oh boy

on NPR and from the New York Times

about protestors on the mall

I want to shoot them all

no one knows just how many on the mall will fall

I love to hate you all